this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
