i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
