It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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