I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
