The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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