Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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