there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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