this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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