I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
