so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
