i jhust puked up my retainher.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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