It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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