Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
