Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
