As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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