yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
