I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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