Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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