It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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