I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
