We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
