the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm passing your future prison.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
