im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
