There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
