And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
