i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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