Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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