the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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