Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
