i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
