Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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