fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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