margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
