My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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