Yo dont text me then not text me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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