JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
