You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
