i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
