come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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