Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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