i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize