it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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