WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
