I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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