Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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