Non-Jews are for practice
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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