You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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