I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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