I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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