I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
