I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
